Like A Zillion

Adventures of The Social Assassin

Bro: Hey Social Assassin, nice shoes.

Social Assassin: THEY SMELL LIKE DOG SHIT GUESS WHY!!1

Bro: Alright, see you later Social Assassin!

Cursor, cursor, on the screen,

Where’s the pic that’s most obscene?

The still-birth baby with holes for eyes,

Or the two nice ladies eating dootie pies?

Teenage Poetry

All I have is a beer and a nickel
Conformity killed the cat
No I don’t want a pickle
What do you think about that?
Teacher! Teacher!
Leave me ALONE!
I don’t want to sing your song
I pledge allegiance to the skull and bone.
LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE!
I HATE MY HOME! I HATE MY HOME!
I hate my home…
I hate my home………

Working on my onomatopoeia, Pt. II

SQUUEEEEKEKEKEK-RRRR-EERRRRR-mmmwweeEEEE-EEEEER-RRRR-SKEE-KEEEEEEK!!!

English is Boring.

A common scene in the life of a common person:

An uncle walks into his sister’s house:

Nephew: Uncle Charlie is here!

Scene.

Uncle Charlie is “here”? Is he an old row boat docking in a dank port? No, he’s motherfucking uncle Charlie!

A revised, less common, scene in the life of an MFing uncle:

Uncle walks into his sister’s house:

Nephew: BITCH IT’S CHARLIE!!!

Motherfucking Scene.

THE BBC GOT FUNNY

“A team of 30 Spanish doctors say they have successfully performed the world’s first full face transplant.”

HAHAHA GO ON!!