August 2011
2 posts
May 2011
2 posts
Adventures of The Social Assassin
Bro: Hey Social Assassin, nice shoes.
Social Assassin: THEY SMELL LIKE DOG SHIT GUESS WHY!!1
Bro: Alright, see you later Social Assassin!
Cursor, cursor, on the screen,
Where’s the pic that’s most obscene?
The still-birth baby with holes for eyes,
Or the two nice ladies eating dootie pies?
October 2010
2 posts
Teenage Poetry
All I have is a beer and a nickel Conformity killed the cat No I don’t want a pickle What do you think about that? Teacher! Teacher! Leave me ALONE! I don’t want to sing your song I pledge allegiance to the skull and bone. LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE MY HOME! I HATE MY HOME! I hate my home… I hate my home………
Working on my onomatopoeia, Pt. II
SQUUEEEEKEKEKEK-RRRR-EERRRRR-mmmwweeEEEE-EEEEER-RRRR-SKEE-KEEEEEEK!!!
July 2010
1 post
May 2010
3 posts
English is Boring.
A common scene in the life of a common person:
An uncle walks into his sister’s house:
Nephew: Uncle Charlie is here!
Scene.
Uncle Charlie is “here”? Is he an old row boat docking in a dank port? No, he’s motherfucking uncle Charlie!
A revised, less common, scene in the life of an MFing uncle:
Uncle walks into his sister’s house:
Nephew: BITCH IT’S...
Siriusmo - High Together
JACKKKK’D FRIDAYSS
April 2010
1 post
THE BBC GOT FUNNY
“A team of 30 Spanish doctors say they have successfully performed the world’s first full face transplant.”
HAHAHA GO ON!!
January 2010
1 post
December 2009
1 post
November 2009
7 posts
WatchOLD DOGS ALT. TRAILER
Ode to the Simile
similes are weak
like plato was a greek
like mister ‘s a potato
like rick jay is a freak
like ben loves jerry
likes twins always peak
like frosting on your flakes
like what Buddha is to meek
Working on my onomatopoeia.
EI EI EI EI KKKKKKKD FFFFFSH AHJEU JEU JEU JEU JEU JEU!!!!
I think about you…I think about you all the time.
When I wake up in the morning, when I put on my slippers, when I make my coffee, when I read the paper, while I brush my teeth, when I button up my shirt, while I’m on the freeway, when I sit at my desk, when I’m sending a fax, while I have my lunch, when I come home at night, when I put on my favorite record, when I walk my...
October 2009
6 posts
A-ha to break up after 25 years →
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Just evicted all of my fruit flies….hate being “the man”.
September 2009
7 posts
TOMORROW’S HIGH: 30C.
Fall, suck Edmonton’s collective balls! We gonna be havin’ picnics n’ playin’ frisbee all day long mother fucker!
“I’m gonna tumble the shit outta this internet.”
– Me, right now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a dumpster’s mouth tastes like.